First of all, I’m so SORRY the blog hasn’t been as regular as it was before I moved to New York. Sometimes life gets in the way! Along that line, ~life~ has been on my mind lately…and how different it is for all of us. Specifically, mid-twentysomethings.
Being from the South, people are generally married pretty young. And having babies young. That’s what I always wanted. I dreamed of the white picket fence and the dog and the older son and younger daughter by the time I was 30. It’s all I knew.
But, things have changed…completely. I have a couple weddings I’m going home for this summer to watch people under 30 tie the knot in the “traditional” way. Which is amazing and beautiful and I wish them all the best. However…the idea of that in my own life right now honestly makes me want to run away and not come back. And I’m entitled to those feelings as much as they’re entitled to their wedding rings.
I had pretty strong views about the world before moving here, but they’ve certainly been heightened, and sometimes challenged, by the people I live with, the people I work with…the culture I’m completely surrounded by. Plenty of 30-year-olds in New York City are single and focused on themselves, maybe contemplating a marriage before 40. Maybe.
That is not to say those humans are “right” or that the humans at home are “right” and New Yorkers are wrong! We’re all allowed to live how we want to. That’s what’s so beautiful about being alive, right? You get to decide.
It’s OK to be 23 and questioning your sexuality. It’s OK to be 20 and a mother with a husband. It’s OK to be 40 and not want kids or a traditional marriage at all! It’s when people start to get judge-y or preachy about how their life is best and your life isn’t, that I have a problem.
We’re young. We don’t have it all figured out (despite those that project that as a facade). AND THAT’S OK. I’m embracing that uncertainty in my own life as best I can (it’s not easy) and I hope you can try, too. Don’t beat yourself up. And don’t think you have to try and be anything that you’re not.
Cheers to letting go of judgements and embracing your now. Wherever that is, it’s more than OK.