Y’all. I have been in this city for officially ONE MONTH today. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone. I’ve been pretty homesick in moments, but it’s not as terrible as I was afraid it would be. I think mostly that’s because I’m more busy than I’ve ever been in my whole. entire. life.
The first three weeks at my job were such a whirlwind and there’s no sign of things slowing down. Here’s my super profesh headshot we all had taken on the first day, woo:
Everyone I work with is super talented AND super hungry to get to the top. I’m not naturally a competitive person though, so that’s been an adjustment from the beginning. I realized pretty quickly that not only at BuzzFeed, but on the streets, on the subway, everywhere here…it’s eat or be eaten.
I’m exhausted. I’m cold. I’m jealous of literally anyone who gets to be around my boyfriend at home (like, even our dog), because I don’t get to be. Food is expensive. Rent is expensive. For every convenient thing, there’s something equally inconvenient. Work could be really great, but then the L train (the actual website I check daily to see if it’s going to be hell or not) is probably A. Messed up and not even running to my stop in Bushwick. B. So crowded you have to fight and shove your way on just to be smushed on all sides by strangers all trying to avert their eyes (or both). Something is always testing you.
Mostly though, more than anything on the list of complaints, I am so fully and completely thankful for where I am. Coming here was terrifying for so many reasons, but mostly because I was going to be alone, which I usually successfully avoid. I am the first to admit I enjoy being codependent. But, I chose to come here, and stay here, for myself. I’m being selfish. I’m doing this for my career, but equally, if not more, for wanting to grow as a person.
And I am.
I’m realizing more every day that this Southern stigma about northern/big city people being rude just isn’t true. I’ve had locals hold doors open for me, I’ve heard “excuse me” and “sorry” murmured plenty of times on the subways and in restaurants, and a stranger even yelled across a platform that he liked my jacket! A COMPLIMENT? IN NEW YORK? FROM A STRANGER? Say it ain’t so. Now, I know that there is crime and not everyone is inherently good. But, if you have your wits about you and look for the best in what’s around- I think usually you find it.
So, I’m happy. I get anxious still most days over something, and I get discouraged at work more than I would like. But everyday I’m getting smarter and stronger. I’m no longer treading water.
Cheers New York. Let’s see what you have for me in March.